Point: The Freshman-Senior Dating Dynamic: A Bad Romance?

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Oftentimes, this means that seniors are busier with college applications, job searches, testing, socializing, and more. I am a very driven, focused individual with plans for my life and was not prepared to put them on hold for someone behind me. Why do we think power imbalance is a problem if both parties consent to it?

Just let her know that she's in charge of herself, but as her parent, you are in charge of feeling concern and making sure she's taken care of. For my friend though, the guy she dated was pretty mature I guess. Have a long talk about the goals and values in your would-be relationship. We actually went to the same elementary school and he knew my sister because they were in the same grade.

Point: The Freshman-Senior Dating Dynamic: A Bad Romance?

Senior and freshman isn't the biggest age difference in the world, but it's also not insignificant. What this means is that you're setting up your relationship for a very dangerous power dynamic. You're falling for her -- and fast. You tell her that you love her after, say, a month. That scares her a little, but then she thinks, that's not weird. He obviously knows what he's doing. But, when one person hides their discomfort with a situation -- sexual, emotional, whatever -- because they assume the other person is superior, it's a problem. A little bit later or sooner , you're messing around a little. She's getting a bit concerned at the rate you're moving sexually. But she doesn't say anything because she doesn't want to look young and stupid. Or, maybe she's just a little uncomfortable because it feels like that's all you do, but again.... And she doesn't want to look weird. Or, maybe she just gets caught up in the fact that she finally has a boyfriend. Her friends probably haven't had many relationships, so they can't really give her great advice about what's normal and what's not. She gets a little uncomfortable about things, but who can she talk to? It's hard enough to be a high school girl who are incredibly unsure of themselves and faced with lots of mixed messages in society about what they should be and figure out boys and relationships without adding in these dangerous power dynamics. That said, you like this girl and she likes you. You're going to go for it regardless of what anyone says. Go out of your way to make sure that she's okay. Bring up conversations about sexual and emotional topics, before they happen. Make her talk about them. If she can't talk about it, she's not ready. She's probably much more uncomfortable than she's admitting to. Back off immediately from whatever you're doing. You can ask her to clarify so that you can understand her perspective, but it needs to be very clear that her discomfort is a correct and valid feeling. It doesn't need an explanation to be valid. Depending on which state you're in and which states you travel to , any sexual contact might qualify as statuatory rape. I believe you're located in Ohio, and based on my reading of the law, 18 and 15 is statutory rape. It is not up to the parents' discretion -- or hers -- to press charges. Even if you're only 17 right now, if you turn 18 before she turns 16, you're again in statutory rape land. You really, really don't want to wind up as a sex offender. This includes no diseases, no fertilized eggs, no undue emotional trauma, and whatever education that can be provided. You will be this girl's first formative relationship. You need to be prepared for that. Keep yourself to 2 - 5 sentences per paragraph, max. Also, learn how to focus on the details that matter. For example, you say this: I have met her parents, twice now, and April says that her parents really seem to like me and the fact that they keep letting me hang out with her is probably a good sign as well, haha. At your age, the number and length of girlfriends seems about right- and at least you got out of the ones that weren't working for you. From what you say here, it all sounds promising. However, there are some legal issues you need to consider: Once you are 18, anyone under 16 is legal trouble if it does get sexual- and it probably will. Nature's pretty intense about that. BOTH of you need to consider that because, trust me, you aren't the only one with urges, no matter how strong you believe yours to be. She's going to get a lot more enticing if you hold back without explaining your reasoning- and getting her agreement. There are going to be changes, too, when you do go off to adulthood. It won't be easy, for either of you. Either of you can lose interest in a snap! So be wary of it, and honest with each other. She, moreso than you, I think, will change. She will change at 18 a little, but in her mid-twenties, she's going to change a whole lot more; of course, right now, it's all gooey romantic, and even she doesn't believe it will ever happen, but it will. She will regret it if she allows you to be a father-figure, so make sure you encourage her to be independent. Keep talking to each other and you might make it through. I've got the nicest 90-year old man in my facility- Dorman- he and his wife have been married almost seventy-years; they were high school sweethearts. She's still alive and living independently which is rather scary given how she walks and she drives in twice a week which is REALLY scary, given how bad her heart is to visit, have lunch, cut his hair and sit and read the paper with him. Almost seventy years- think about that. They met at just about the ages you two are now. And they still love each other immensely. You'll never know until you try.

We go to college about 20 minutes away from each other now and see each other once or twice a week if that. When he graduates, you guys will most likely break up. Be sure to have social consent on both sides. Learn healthy relationship skills. And no, the guy wasn't me. It is normal to be in love, with whomever, without thinking about anything physical about him. Perhaps I am mistaken. If your relationship is strong, it can survive being solo for a while. If we had only been together a year we wouldn't have made it through that, he and I in particular seem to not handle long distance well but it's gotten better over time. I decided he was the one for me. Like, one note thought this guy was 21 and liked him, but then when she found out he was 19 --- she didn't like him anymore.